Have you ever told a little white lie, maybe to skip out on plans or avoid trouble, and then found yourself almost believing it was true? Lying is something most of us have done—it’s human. But for some people, lying goes way beyond the occasional fib. Pathological lying is a much more extreme and uncontrollable type of dishonesty. These individuals make up stories constantly, often so elaborate or unnecessary that it’s hard to understand why they do it.
This kind of behavior has puzzled researchers for years. A study involving twins at the University of Toronto found that our attitudes toward lying—like avoiding taxes or faking sickness days—could partly come from our genes. They estimated that genetics might influence up to 26–42% of these behaviors. But does that mean lying is something we’re born with, or is it shaped by how we grow up? Is the tendency to lie actually in our DNA, or is it a learned behavior?
What is a Pathological Liar?
A pathological liar is someone who lies all the time, even when there’s no good reason to. Regular lying usually has a purpose, like avoiding trouble or being polite—but with pathological lying, it’s different. These lies are constant, unnecessary, and often out of the person’s control.
This behavior is known as mythomania, or pathological lying disorder. People with this condition feel the need to lie so often that it becomes second nature. Their stories are usually very detailed and elaborate, and sometimes they even start believing the lies themselves.
Here are some common signs of mythomania:
- Lying all the time becomes second nature as they fabricate stories about almost anything, regardless of its importance.
- No clear reason for lying is another trait; their habit isn’t about personal gain but seems to happen purely out of compulsion.
- Believing their own lies is common, as they often convince themselves that the stories they create are the truth.
- Detailed and consistent stories are part of their pattern, as their lies are often elaborate enough to sound believable even to others.
- Struggles in relationships are inevitable because their dishonesty often leads to breaking trust with close family, friends, or coworkers.
- Feeling stressed or anxious happens frequently due to the exhausting cycle of creating lies and then trying to maintain or defend them.
The key difference between someone who tells the occasional lie and a pathological liar comes down to control. People with mythomania don’t seem to have control over their lying—it takes over their lives and creates lasting challenges for them and those around them.
Is Being a Pathological Liar Genetic?
People often wonder if being a pathological liar is something you’re born with. The short answer is that it’s a mix of both genetics and life experiences but not fully one or the other.
Genetics can play a small role in certain traits that might make lying more likely. For example, someone might inherit a tendency to act impulsively or take risks, which could make lying feel easier for them. There’s also evidence that differences in brain structure or chemistry, which can run in families, may be involved. However, this doesn’t mean lying itself is passed down like eye color or height.
What seems to matter more is the environment a person grows up in. For instance, if someone experienced a tough childhood with trauma, neglect, or a lot of dishonesty around them, they might learn to lie as a way to protect themselves or get attention. Over time, this habit can become a bigger problem.
Overall, being a pathological liar isn’t just about genes. It’s more about how both nature and nurture shape a person. Genes might give someone certain tendencies, but their experiences and surroundings are what turn those tendencies into a pattern of lying.
How to Treat Someone with Compulsive Lying Disorder
Helping someone with compulsive lying disorder can take time and patience, but it’s possible with the right steps. Here are some ways to support them:
1. Therapy (like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)
Therapy is one of the best ways to address compulsive lying. A therapist can help the person understand why they lie—whether it’s to get attention, hide insecurity, or deal with stress. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) teaches them better ways to handle emotions and situations, which can reduce their need to lie.
2. Show Support and Build Trust
Many people lie as a way to protect themselves. To help them, create a safe space without judgment or harsh criticism. When they feel supported, they’re more likely to open up and begin changing their behavior.
3. Treat Other Mental Health Issues
Sometimes, compulsive lying is linked to conditions like anxiety or depression. Getting treatment for these underlying issues, through therapy or medication, can make a big difference and reduce the lying.
4. Encourage Small Steps Toward Honesty
Starting with small, easy acts of honesty can help. For example, they can try being truthful in simple, low-pressure situations. Each small success builds confidence and makes it easier to keep going.
5. Boost Their Self-Esteem
Low self-confidence can lead to lying as a way to feel better or impress others. Help them build up their self-esteem by encouraging hobbies or setting small, achievable goals. Feeling good about themselves reduces the need to lie.
6. Family or Group Support
Group or family counseling can sometimes help. Close friends or family can learn how to support the person while also setting healthy boundaries. Working together creates a stronger support system.
How to React to a Pathological Liar
Dealing with someone who lies all the time can be tough and emotionally draining. The first step is to notice the pattern. Pathological liars often tell exaggerated stories or lie even when it’s unnecessary. If you start to see this kind of behavior, it’s important to respond wisely.
When talking to someone like this, stay calm and firm. Avoid accusing them harshly, as this may make them defensive or lead to more lying. Instead, focus on setting boundaries. If their lies affect you, explain how it feels and how it impacts your trust in them. Use gentle, clear language to get your point across without escalating the situation.
Protecting yourself is crucial, especially if you feel unsafe. If the person shows signs of being manipulative or unpredictable, consider stepping back or getting advice from a professional. Your safety always comes first, especially if their behavior puts you or anyone else at risk.
It’s helpful to remember that compulsive lying often comes from deeper issues that need professional treatment. You can encourage them to get help if they’re willing, but it’s not your job to fix them. Don’t put your own mental health or safety on the line trying to change someone else.